A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”
…
..
.
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
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A cowboy who has just moved from Texas to Montana walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits at the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender walks up and says to the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought them one at a time. ”
The cowboy replies, “You see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona and the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”
The cowboy looks quite confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
“Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains.
“It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.”
“It hasn’t affected my brothers though.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
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Johnny walks into a general store, goes to the owner, and asks for a new job.
The owner says, “Do you think you are a good salesman?”
Johnny says, “I don’t know. I think so.”
The owner says, “I’ll tell you what. The next customer comes in, you watch me. If you think you can do what I’m doing, you’ve got a new job!”
A customer comes in a few minutes later.
The owner says, “Can I help you?”
The customer says, “Yes. I want to buy a bag of grass seed.”
“No problem,” Says the owner looking for a bag of grass seed. “Do you think you might want a lawnmower with that?”
“Lawnmower?” says the customer
“Yes,” Says the owner. “If you plant that grass seed, you’re gonna have a lot of grass to cut. You may also want to buy a lawnmower too.”
The customer thinks it’s a great idea and accepts.
The owner sells him the grass seeds and the lawnmower, and the customer leaves.
The owner turns to Johnny and says, “See that? That’s selling! The guy wanted some grass seeds and I sold him a lawnmower too! Do you think you can do that?”
Johnny says, “Yeah, he can do that.”
So the owner says, “Great. The next customer who comes in is yours. I will just stand here quietly and watch. We will see how you do. ”
A few minutes pass by and another customer enters.
Johnny says, “Can I help you?”
The customer says, “Yes. I want to buy a box of Tampax for my wife.”
“No problem,” says Johnny as he reaches for the box of Tampax.
“Do you think you might want a lawnmower with that?”
“Lawnmower?” says the customer.
“Yeah,” says Johnny.
“You’re not going to be doing anything else for the next 7 days, you might as well cut the grass!”
LOL!!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
