Frank is having a bit of trouble seeing things at a distance, so he goes into an optician for an eye test.
The optician asks him to cover his right eye with his left hand and read the letters on the card. Now Frank has always had difficulty telling right from left, so the optician tells him not to worry and asks him to cover his left eye with his left hand and then read the letters on the card—but Frank still struggles.
The optician, being a helpful chap, has a brilliant idea. He takes a cardboard box, cuts out two small square holes, and puts it over Frank’s head, saying, “There, now cover one of the holes and read the letters on the card through the other.”
Frank suddenly bursts into tears. The optician becomes very concerned, takes the box off his head, and asks why he’s crying.
…
..
.
Frank replies, “I wanted a metal frame like my brother’s got.”
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Paul was in the hospital for a complete check-up.
At 11:00 AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.
At 2 PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.
Again, at 5 PM and 7 PM, they tried, and both times Paul turned down the soup, so they gave up.
In preparation for the next day’s test, they entered his room at 3 AM, 4 AM, and 6 AM and gave him an enema each time.
When Paul got home from the hospital after the tests, he told his wife, Anna, “Whatever you do, if you go to that hospital and they try to serve you soup, take it! If you refuse it, they sneak in while you’re asleep and shove it up your @ss!”
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An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms v.i.olently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and asked: “What the hell is going on?”
The drunk, still staring down at the sheets, replied, “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.”
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Woman Suffering in Pain.
Her husband strokes her back and says,
“I’m sorry sweety, you have to go through this.”
She says, “Don’t worry. It’s not your fault.”