A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says.
“I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today..”
The bartender says. “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.”
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says. “I would like to buy you a drink too.”
The old woman says. “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming up.” Says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says. “I would like to buy you one too.”
The old woman says. “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming right up.” The bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman replies.
…
..
.
“Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue”
LOLLLLL, we hope this joke can make your day brighter.
We wish you a happy new year, you are loved!
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Late in the night, a mother hears noises in the lobby.
She goes to check it out, and sees her son preparing to leave the house.
“Where are you going so late and on this weather?”
“Well, I’m going to the whore-house.”
“How dare you?! You are only 15! Get back to bed immediately!”
Approximately an hour later, she hears noises in the lobby again. Goes to check it out, her son was there again:
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“To the whore-house, Mom!”
“You just drop that umbrella and get in bed immediately!”
“Well, I can’t wait to see how Dad’s gonna get home in this rain!”
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A mother and father in their 40s loved their children very much.
They had three kids, two of whom were already grown up. Their third child, the youngest, was only 10 years old. They were tucking their young boy in to bed one night when they asked him what he wanted when he grew up.
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son.
Mom: But who will sleep with your 5 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son!
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A science teacher asked her students
“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”
One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”
Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”
“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher
“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”
