A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then the new school year began.
The very next afternoon, three young boys, full of youthful after- school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The following afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street.
Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.”
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.
After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face.
“This recession is really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”
The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.
A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. “Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?”
“A lousy quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!”
And the wise old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days
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A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?”
Young Pappu replied with, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
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A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and pushing the boots, she just didn’t want to go on. By the time she’d got the second boot on, she’d worked up a sweat.
That’s when the little boy said, ‘Mrs. Smith, they’re on the wrong feet.’
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn’t any easier getting them back off and re-put upon the correct feet. That’s when the little boy said, ‘These aren’t my boots. They’re my brother’s. My mom made me wear them.’
She bit her tongue and managed to keep her cool. But she mustered up the courage one more time to wrestle those boots on his feet again. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘Where are your mittens?’
‘I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.’
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Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.
“Sure you can, Mickey,” Charlie said, “Just flap your arms really really hard.”
So Mickey climbed up on the window sill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground just a few inches below.
Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, “What the heck happened?!?”
Charlie said, “I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him.”