After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, it’s Eric, I’m on the train”
“Yes, I know it’s Six thirty and not four thirty, but I had a long meeting”
“No, honey, I was not with Preethi from the accounts office, I was with the boss attending the meeting”
“No Sweetheart, You’re the only one in my life”
“Yes, I’m sure dear”.
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly.
When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone,
…
..
.
“Eric darling, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”
Now, Eric is back from hospital and doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer.
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A farmer has been farting a lot.
He’s been to several doctors, but none of them know what’s wrong. Desperate, he reaches out to the local priest.
He says, “Father, I don’t believe in this religious mumbo jumbo, but I’m out of options. My wife is threatening to leave! What can God do for me?”
The pastor says, “My son, you must give everything to God. In doing so, all shall be well.”
So the farmer leaves. Soon, though, he starts coming to church every single day at 6 pm. At first the pastor is pleased. But week by week, his congregation thins.
Within a month, the farmer is the only one left in attendance. Confused, the pastor approaches him and asks, “Well my child, did God help your flatulence issues?”
And the farmer says, “He did father. I used to just fart whenever I needed to. But now, I wait until 6, and give all I’ve got to God!”
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A young boy enters the barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!!!!”
