An old man walks up to a pawn shop’s counter holding an old, weathered guitar:
“I’d like your expert opinion on this guitar, how much do you think it’s worth?” asks the old man.
The pawn broker looks it up and down. “Well, I can tell right now that there’s a little warping in the neck, the lacquer is faded and there’s scratches and dents all over it. It’s an old, well-played guitar but I don’t think it’s worth any more than twenty bucks.”
The old man reaches his hand out and says, “Okay, if that’s what you think it’s worth.. you have a deal!”
“Great!” replies the pawn broker, shaking his hand.
“Here’s twenty bucks,” says the old man. “I’ll buy it right now!”
The broker stops, and suddenly looks confused.
“Wait…. buy?” he asks.
…
..
.
“Yes!” smiles the old man as he flips the guitar over, “This one has a sticker price of $150, but now that I have your honest opinion I think twenty bucks is a great deal!”
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A little old Texas lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man, “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners, straight from California.”
“Go away!” said the old lady, “I haven’t got any money to spend on things like that!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
“Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “At least wait until you’ve seen my demonstration.”
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder, cross my heart.”
The old lady stepped back and said, “Wait here while I go get a spoon. I hope you’ve got a darn good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”
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Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.
She told them in certain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open.
She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result — the door bounced back open.
Convinced, these rude people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said:
“Ma’am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat.”
