A man answered an ad that read, “Hiring welders $18-$24 per hour.”
When he arrived he was told he’d have to take a welding test.
He turned in 2 sets of welds. One was a great weld, the other was a mess.
…
..
.
When the boss asked him why he did this, he replied, “One is $18/hr, the other is $24/hr.”
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A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
‘Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. ‘I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.’
‘You’re on, old man,’ the braggart replied. ‘Let’s see you do it.’
The old man reached out, grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, and said, ‘All right, young man, get in.’
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A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender looks at him and says, “Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?”
The duck replies, “I’m dry-walling the building across the street. I’ll be in town for a few days.”
The next day, the duck walks back into the bar and the bartender says, “Hey duck, I was telling someone about you last night. They’re really interested in meeting with you!”
“Is that so?”
“There’s a travelling circus in town,” the bartender explained. “The ringmaster was in here last night and thought you’d be a star attraction for them!”
The duck looked puzzled and says, “Why the hell would a circus need a dry-waller?”
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The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch.
With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there.
“Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?,” asks the father.
“But… I don’t know what to say…,” the little girl admits.
“Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!,” said her mother to help her.
And the girl: “Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?”