The first joke:
My four-year-old Grandson had a one-dollar bill he wanted to spend.
I took him to the thrift store and he found a toy he wanted that cost 50 cents.
He asked me if it would take his whole dollar and I told him “No, only half of your dollar”
…
..
.
At the checkout he proudly gave the cashier half of his dollar bill that he had torn in two.
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The second joke:
A six-year-old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
“Don’t be angry,” the Mother says,
“Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.”
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling.
…
..
.
Her brother says… “Now she knows.”
Tim decided to marry his long-time girlfriend.
One evening, not long after their honeymoon, he was busy organizing his golf equipment.
His wife stood nearby, quietly observing him.
After a lengthy silence, she finally spoke:
“Tim, I’ve been thinking. Now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you gave up golfing. You spend so much time at it, and you could probably sell your clubs for a good price.”
Tim froze, a horrified expression spreading across his face.
Alarmed, she asked, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
“For a moment there, you sounded just like my ex-wife,” he said.
“Ex-wife?!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were married before!”
“I wasn’t,” Tim replied.
LOL!!