The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. “Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?”.
No one knew the answer so it was their homework to go home.
The kids came back the next day and still, none of them can figure out how to put 2 holes into one.
“I will show you the answer now children,” says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself.
He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says “look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose”
A little while later, little Johnny stands up and asks “excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole?”
The teacher replies “I have no idea Johnny, why don’t you tell us how you put 7 holes into one hole?”
…
..
.
Little Johnny replies “you simply sit on your recorder sir”.
=======
Doctor Simon is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis.
He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment.
One day, an elderly lady, slowly struggles into his waiting room. She is completely bent over and leans heavily on her walking stick. A chair is found for her. Eventually, her turn comes to go into Doctor Simon’s office.
15 minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face.
A woman in the waiting room says, “It’s unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?”
“Miracle, shmiracle, he just gave me a longer walking stick.”
================================
A blonde brought her baby to a doctor.
After examining, the doctor right away determined that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for eardrops.
In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the blonde returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
Put two drops in R ear every four hours.