Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Toronto on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas that they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across at her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
…
..
.
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
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Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.
The first one says, “You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Oxford. He’s now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago.”
The second woman says, “You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Cambridge. He’s now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles.”
The last woman says, “You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million pounds a year in London working as a sports repairman.”
The other two women ask, “What is a sports repairman?”
The woman then replies, “He fixes things… you know, hockey games, football games, snooker games…”
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A man was Promoted to Montreal
Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
…
..
.
The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
