A woman who was fed up with her boyfriend’s dog gave him an ultimatum: “Either the dog goes or I go.”
When his girlfriend told him he had to pick between her and his dog, he knew just what to do.
Apparently, choosing between his longtime girlfriend and best pal Molly was not so hard to think about at all.
Mixing his predicament with a sense of humor, the man chose his dog and advertised his girlfriend to anyone who is willing to take her in.
His response sure is not the kind of answer his girlfriend would have expected!
“My girlfriend does not like my beagle Molly. SO I have to re-home her. She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years. She likes to play games. Not totally trained. Has long hair so she’s a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done.
Stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work. Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you’re down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!
So… anyone interested in my 30-year-old, selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend? Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed ASAP!”
This guy’s wife gets a cat and he hates it.
So one day, while his wife is gone to work, the guy puts the cat in the back seat of the car, drives a few blocks, and lets the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there on the front porch.
So the next day, the guy waits until his wife leaves for work again, then throws the cat in the car, drives a mile away from the house, and tosses the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there again on the front porch.
Well, the guy’s furious. So he waits until the next day, then throws the cat in the car, and drives as far and fast as he can, making all the turns and doubling back he can to throw off the cat. He dumps out the cat and heads home, but realizes he can’t figure out where he is.
So that afternoon, his wife comes home and answers the ringing phone. It’s her husband. He asks, “Is the cat there?”
She says, “Yes.”
The guy says, “I’m lost. Put the cat on the phone.”