A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.
As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
“Wow, this is great!” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight – lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
“Hey!” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?”
“Yes, come and join us!” they cried.
“What else do you wild rabbits do?” the lab rabbit asked.
“Well,” one of them said, “you see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.”
This, he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, “What else do you do?”
“You see that field there? It’s got lettuce growing in it. We eat that as well.”
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full.
“It’s fantastic out here in the world,” he told them.
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked.
“I’m sorry, I had a great time but I can’t.”
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. “Why? We thought you liked it here.”
“I do,” the rabbit replied. “But I must get back to the lab. I’m dying for a cigarette.”
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A rabbit, a fox and a bear have to enroll in the army. Neither of the 3 are very happy about it, and the only chance they have to avoid it is by being rejected during the medical exam.
As they are waiting in line at the doctor’s office, their desperation builds up untill right before it’s the rabbits turn.
The rabbit turns to the fox, “Fox, I might have a plan. B.i.te off my ear, trust me on this one!”
The fox does so, and the rabbit enters the office.
A few moments later, he gets out yelling, “I was rejected, guys!”
“Because of your ear?” they ask.
“Yes, because without it, I can’t detect the enemy as well,” says rabbit.
“Good thinking,” they say.
And with that in mind the fox turns to the bear, “R.ip my tail off!”
The bear doesn’t even hesitate and does so.
Then, the fox takes his turn in the office.
After a while he comes back yelling, “I am rejected too! Without my tail, I can’t be as sneaky and agile as I need to be.”
Now it was the bear’s turn to ask, “Quickly, guys, knock out all of my teeth, because a bear without teeth isn’t scary at all!”
The rabbit and the fox start b.ea.ting the muzzle of the bear, completly br.ea.king his face untill there is no tooth is left in his mouth.
He then proceeds to go inside the doctor’s office.
Not long after he gets out, he shouts, “Rejecwew!”
“Nice,” they say. “Because of your teeth, right?”
…
..
.
“Nwo,“ says the bear. “Too fat.”